This pregnancy has been great but different than the other two. I spent Lauren's in such a 'bliss' (or at least that's how I remember it). Everyone complimenting the cute pregnant lady all the time (because it was our first and I mean what else are they supposed to say?), my nails were nice and long (which doesn't happen with the others when you are constantly washing dishes, giving baths, etc). Colton's pregnancy I felt even better (minus the nausea) because I made sure I exercised all the time! I ate lots of 'bad' things that I didn't with Lauren but because I was exercising all the time I could do that and not gain weight so I felt lucky! I feel like I spent the first trimester of this pregnancy trying to hide the fact that I was pregnant because we wanted to wait until our heart beat/first ultrasound appointment before we announced it to the world.
Since this was my third pregnancy, I noticed I was growing faster the first trimester than I did with the other two so I was constantly telling my friends who knew I was pregnant how big I was. Then the second trimester came and I think I spent it assuming I was much bigger than I was with the other two just because it was my third. I also had less time to exercise and eat right because our schedule was so crazy with work, soccer, dance, golf, etc that we got take out a lot, so it was hard to stay fit and I was eating all the 'bad' things again that I did with Colton's pregnancy because well it worked for his pregnancy it would just work for this pregnancy too right...wrong. I started gaining weight at a faster rate than I did with Colton's and I didn't understand it. Then at one dr. appointment after I had gained another 5 pounds in a month (vs the 2-3 I did with Colton) Kraig politely mentioned "well you were exercising more with the other two". That did it for me. I realized that #1 I felt much better with Colton's pregnancy than I did with this pregnancy so I needed to make exercise a priority and #2 why would I eat great with Lauren's pregnancy and not great with the other two? So I started making changes.
I had a few comments by others that made me feel 'huge' so I started to feel like I was not pretty this time (just being honest here). My feelings were hurt because I had always been that 'cute' pregnant person but this time I was starting to feel like a 'not so cute' prego. When people would make 'big' comments I took it as not only was my belly getting big but I was getting big all over (probably because I was gaining weight faster than I had before). To be completely honest I don't care at all if my belly gets big because that shows that my baby is growing at a healthy rate...I just don't want to look big all over so that's what was bothering me. I am now in my third trimester and after looking back at all my comparison photos I have no idea what I was thinking (crazy prego hormones I guess...hey I can admit it!). The only trimester that I was noticeably bigger (in my eyes anyway) was the first which I spent hiding my pregnancy :-( So I've decided two things...#1 why should anyone else's opinion affect how I feel about myself (something I want to pass on to my kids so they are confident with themselves) and #2 I honestly feel like I've missed out a little on this pregnancy because I was hiding it at first and then trying to look smaller than I was because others were making me feel bigger.
Revelation - Going forward I am going to soak up the last 8 weeks of this pregnancy and enjoy it so I don't miss out (since it is our last...and YES it is our last!) and rock my baby belly at work, on vacation, etc! I'm proud that God gave me the ability to carry three precious babies and hey...I'm not bigger now that I was at this stage with the other two so listen up peeps...this is just MY norm!
P.S. I'm not putting this on here for compliments from people that read it...this is just my way of being honest with myself and getting things off my chest. Also when my daughter(s) or daughter(s)-in-law are pregnant and they are feeling a little down, they will know they are not the only ones who went through it or felt a certain way.
